| Will I Ever Be Good Enough?: Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers | 
 enlarge | Author: Karyl Mcbride
Publisher: Free Press
Category: Book
List Price: $24.00
Buy New: $13.30
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Avg. Customer Rating:  10 reviews
Sales Rank: 5405
Media: Hardcover
Number Of Items: 1
Pages: 304
Shipping Weight (lbs): 1
Dimensions (in): 9 x 6.3 x 1.1
ISBN: 1416551328
Dewey Decimal Number: 616.85854
EAN: 9781416551324
ASIN: 1416551328
Publication Date: September 23, 2008
Availability: Usually ships in 1-2 business days
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| Editorial Reviews:
Product Description
The first book specifically for daughters suffering from the emotional abuse of selfish, self-involved mothers, Will I Ever Be Good Enough? provides the expert assistance you need in order to overcome this debilitating history and reclaim your life for yourself. Drawing on over two decades of experience as a therapist specializing in women's psychology and health, psychotherapist Dr. Karyl McBride helpsyou recognize the widespread effects of this maternal emotional abuse and guides you as you create an individualized program for self-protection, resolution, and complete recovery.An estimated 1.5 million American women have narcissistic personality disorder, which makes them so insecure and overbearing, insensitive and domineering that they can psychologically damage their daughters for life. Daughters of narcissistic mothers learn that maternal love is not unconditional, and that it is given only when they behave in accordance with their mothers' often unreasonable expectations and whims. As adults, these daughters consequently have difficulty overcoming their insecurities and feelings of inadequacy, disappointment, sadness, and emotional emptiness. They may also have a terrible fear of abandonment that leads them to form unhealthy love relationships, as well as a tendency to perfectionism and unrelenting self-criticism, or to self-sabotage and frustration. Herself the recovering daughter of a narcissistic mother, Dr. McBride includes her personal struggle, which adds a profound level of authority to her work, along with the perspectives of the hundreds of suffering daughters she's interviewed over the years. Their stories of how maternal abuse has manifested in their lives -- as well as how they have successfully overcome its effects -- show you that you're not alone and that you can take back your life and have the control you want. Dr. McBride's step-by-step program will enable you to: (1) Recognize your own experience with maternal narcissism and its effects on all aspects of your life
(2) Discover how you have internalized verbal and nonverbal messages from your mother and how these have translated into a strong desire to overachieve or a tendency to self-sabotage
(3) Construct a step-by-step program to reclaim your life and enhance your sense of self, a process that includes creating a psychological separation from your mother and breaking the legacy of abuse. You will also learn how not to repeat your mother's mistakes with your own daughter. Warm and sympathetic, filled with the examples of women who have established healthy boundaries with their hurtful mothers, Will I Ever Be Good Enough? encourages and inspires you as it aids your recovery.
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| Customer Reviews: Read 5 more reviews...
Oh My God was this worthwhile November 20, 2008
3 out of 3 found this review helpful
Reading this book was an incredibly validating experience. I have never written a book review in my life but I believe that this work is essential for daughters of narcissistic mothers. I am 45 years old and have been in counseling for 4 years with a great counselor to address my mom's Narcissistic Personality Disorder. I have had difficulties in the denial and acceptance department; it seems that cognitively I know that my mother doesn't have the capacity to ever be warm, loving, or empathetic. However,I have had many instances where I just thought well maybe I am just the nutty girl and go back into denial. My counselor has spent hours upon hours discussing the harm that comes from being raised by a narcissistic mother. And, yes, I have read many books on narcissism. The difference with this book is that it is written from a first hand experience and includes very specific exchanged between the narcissistic mother and the "still" seeking daughter. In reading this book I must have said oh my God hundreds of times. I made margin notes where I wrote "yep" next to so many scenarios, feelings, yearnings, lowered self esteem, being self critical, the workaholism (I am a practicing trial attorney), and the issues with respect to brothers being treated differently. I am the only daughter and I have 3 brothers who had vastly different experiences with my mother. They are all perfect princes and I am the one that is constantly criticized and judged. For many years I have grappled with my brothers' experience versus mine and it was crazy-making. This book explains that daughters of narcissistic mothers may be subject to projection, jealousy, and envy because you are viewed as her extension (or shadow). It finally made sense. IF YOU ARE A DAUGHTER OF A NARCISSIST MOTHER THIS IS THE MOST HONEST AND FORTHRIGHT BOOK THAT I HAVE COME ACROSS AND IT IS ONE THAT I WILL USE AS A REFERENCE GUIDE FOR GROUNDING AND VALIDATION ON A REGULAR BASIS.
Worth It's Weight in Gold November 17, 2008
This book is well-written, extremely insightful, and well structured. It is written in a tone as if the therapist is talking directly to you.
If you have lived with a narcissistic mother, you may not even realize it, or how it has affected you. You may realize that something is wrong, but not know what or how to fix it. If so, this book is for you.
 Best part was author's encouragement November 4, 2008
2 out of 4 found this review helpful
This book encouraged the reader to stand up for herself and tries to be kind but I found it lacking in specific insights or perhaps examples that I could relate to. Seems like the author was too close to her subject and despite self work not distanced enough to write a detached view of the dynamics of a relationship with a narcissistic family member.
If you have lived through it, you've got to read it, she is writing for you. October 25, 2008
2 out of 2 found this review helpful
I haven't finished it yet, however I knew just from reading the foreword that this had potential to be life changing for me. Things were identified "on paper" that I had never seen written anywhere, or had validated in my 46 years of trying to understand my relationship (or lack there-of) with my mom. It were as if I had written the book and was re-reading it. It is very hard to vocalize what you went through as a child, especially as the author explains, it seems so taboo when speaking negatively regarding your mother. Even when knowing it has been the experience of your life, and how it has affected your ability to form relationships, the way you feel about yourself---it is still almost impossible to stand firm in your experience, assert your truth--yet have others tell you "Ah, c'mon! She couldn't have been that bad!" These very kind of statements, unbeknownst to others, help keep us feel more insane.
I am a substance abuse counselor, but I am now disabled. I too had worked with many women who had some variance of this kind of un-bonding with their mother. It is one hellish way to grow up, because you do not really know who you are. As Ms. McBride has so brilliantly written, in a nutshell, we weren't given the same tools nor loving nourishment as most children. Children mirror themselves as they grow, looking for cues--guidance, acceptance, limits, wonder---fear--everything from their main caregiver. As Ms. McBride references, we had criticism, either being exhibited like a quippy doll, which I can relate to, or being ignored...because you're just "something to tolerate". None of which invoke feelings of warmth or belonging. This author really knows it, and hits it home. She lived it too and you relate to her from the very first page.
Now, along with identifying with how it affected us---Equally IF NOT Most important : we can learn how to nurture ourselves. We learn how our Moms end up like this. If we don't do this work, we will quite possibly repeat it, even as much as it hurt us. This book IS NOT about blaming, it's about healing, accepting that no, we didn't have our best friends mom. The reality of it is, we will never have the relationship we keep killing ourselves trying to have with OUR moms. It's Okay. So far, this is a great book, I especially like the use of other women's stories. I'm grateful I read the article about this book, I know I was meant to. I don't believe much in coincidences. I love that life gives us opportunities to keep growing if we choose. That our minds have the capacity for more and more information-- and that getting old also means gaining wisdom through life's experiences! Always something to look forward to. Mistakes are okay, we get do-overs!
You have to buy this book! October 17, 2008
I was only on page 8 and I had said, "This is my mom and what she would say and do," over and over again. I can not put this book down. It's really helping me out.
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